By the Label

In an ideal world, I would project an image of at least some degree of thoughtfulness and weighty intelligence. But the truth is, in some matters, I'm pretty superficial.

"How superficial?" you ask. Well, let's just say that I chose my undergraduate institution by the quality of its marketing. I shouldn't admit this, I know. And it's not entirely true, but it's not entirely not true either.

I could make excuses: Oh, I was only 18. Oh, the academic variety was impressive. Oh, but you should have SEEN the referential advertisement for Commander Salamander. Hel-looo! Regardless of the excuses, we'd end up at the same result.

This is how I pick my wine too. Taste matters. But taste comes after aesthetics. I'll never taste a bottle of wine for which I don't like the label. I can't swear this unequivocally--for example, I dislike the Barefoot wine logo, but it is cheap; I started buying it in grad school, and I do still buy it occasionally.

That said, if I'm picking a new wine, I pick based on the label. I look at font and texture and design and all of those things. I'm not even that embarrassed by it. Should I be? Maybe. Am I justified? Maybe.

Check out Grub Street's article and nice little pie chart (via The Kitchn). The author has devised some sort of faux taste/label correlation graph. This is my kind of analysis.

As a case study, the chardonnay above (from Bodega Elena de Mendoza) is actually the cheapest chardonnay available in the little market in my apartment building. I picked it up for the first time because the label has raised lettering and design, I like the colors and fonts on the label, and I'm intrigued by Argentinean wines. On the Grub Street label scale: somewhere between Diluted French, Graphic Design Subclass: Letterpress, and Graphic Design Subclass: Pottery Barn Catalogue. This translates to a taste scale that's a mix of dirt and wine; smooth wines that are not super-fruity or super-earthy; vanilla-scented candle. I'm slightly offended by the vanilla-scented candle analogy and this label really looks nothing like that Cupcake label, so I'll remove that from the mix.

At the end of the day, smooth wine that's not super-fruity or super-earthy but a mix of dirt and wine is pretty accurate for this chardonnay. And it's a pretty good wine for the price. AND, it justifies me picking wine by the label. Ring me up a few more bottles.